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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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Then, I hit up the Plaza de Recreo. It’s always buzzing with life. There was a local band playin’, and I couldn’t resist. I joined in, dancin’ like nobody was watchin’. I mean, who cares, right? But then, I tripped over my own feet and landed right in front of this cute girl. Talk about embarrassing! But she just smiled and helped me up. I was like, “Smooth move, genius.”

One farm in Puerto Rico is still running thanks to a $300,000 investment in solar power